This is a transcript of the closed captions from the video conversation.

Arlene Malinowski: Hi. My name is Arlene Malinowski, and I'm a playwright, actor and teaching artist who makes solo autobiographical work that explores the intersection of disability culture and the world at large. I am so excited to be here today with two artists, Kal and Janhavi Khemka, who recently participated in the 3Arts/Bodies of Work residency program. As a fellow alum from that program myself, I'll be leading a conversation with them about their work, their experiences in the residency, and the way they situate themselves within the disability culture community.

This conversation is part of a series called the Disability Culture Leadership Initiative, led by 3Arts in partnership with Bodies of Work. Special thanks to the Mayor's Office for People with Disabilities, including Commissioner Rachel Arfa and the Central West Community Center here in Chicago, which is operated by the Mayor's Office where we're filming today.

Kal is an interdisciplinary artist whose practice is a discussion of one's fluctuation of stability and instability, explored through reactions to sudden, alienated thoughts and emotions that arise in domestic environments. Janhavi is an interdisciplinary artist who approaches the realm of sound as a non-hearing person through woodcut, printmaking, animation, performance and experimental multimedia installation. As a survivor, she infuses materials and tools with a certain performative agency, listening deeply to locate resonances between her research and what the audience interprets. Thank you so much, both of you, for being here. To get us started, why don't you take a moment to describe your art, what you do, but more importantly, why you do it?

Janhavi: I grew up in India alongside my family. I was born Deaf to an all-hearing family who really didn't know sign language, and so they taught me lip reading as a mode of communication. My mom and I would sit down and we would look at one another and touch each other's throats. We would learn different vowel sounds and consonants like 'ma' and 'ba' and feeling those vibrations would help me understand language and words.

I did have teachers who would help me with lip reading, but it was hard for me to learn. They gave me different lessons at school. But when I would bring work home to show my mom, she wasn't able to understand or translate the words for me. So what my mom would do instead was draw pictures for me depicting what was going on, for example, a man interacting with a lion. And she would tell me stories in that way and that helped me understand language and connect with words. Honestly, that's what inspired my art. She really is the one who began my art career for me.

Arlene: Thank you, thank you. Kal, to get us started with you, I would love to know how you describe your art. Not only what you make, but more importantly, why you make it.

Kal: My work feels very nuanced. And with, I try to work with a lot of, like, complications, contradictions or, unexpectedness mix of signs that, you know, people make different connections to, that I make different connections to. So it's a mixing bowl of a lot of things that I feel interesting or a lot of things that make sense to me.

The inspiration or the reason of making those objects or in my artwork comes from a place of trying to find my own direction in my confusion caused by my own mental health disabilities. Which is, which in general is a experience of, you know, forgetfulness, not feeling present or not feeling like I'm connected to the environment around me. So, in my own artwork, I explored those ideas or like, what were those feelings and the outcomes of those, when I have a moment of like, oh, wait, this is why this feels like this, or this is why this is happening the way it is. Then I try to capture that moment and try to add in external context, usually domestic, and try to make work. That is something interesting. Yeah.

Arlene: I love the word that you used. Your art is a "mixing bowl." I just love that so much. So both of you have participated in the 3Arts/Bodies of Work residency, just like I did. And the 3Arts/Body of Work residency is a program where deaf and disabled artists can design projects, connect with other artists to, connect with scholars and conduct creative research or make new art. Can you tell me, what did you get out of the program? What did you work on? Did you maybe have any aha's?

Janhavi: When I moved to America for the first time, it was right when COVID-19 hit. Everyone was wearing masks, and it was very difficult for communication access. This difficulty influenced me to start my performance art. That challenge gave me a new perspective on my life. I had to figure out how to make art with people, how to communicate with people.

When Carrie Sandahl with Bodies of Work connected me with an opportunity to perform at the Museum of Contemporary Art. And that piece was titled Impression. And it gave me the chance to work one on one with museum goers and touch each other's throats and feel that vibration. We would place our hands on each other's necks. And I would ask that person, can you tell me your name and a few words? Through the session, we would communicate back and forth to establish mutual ways to communicate with one another.

After 10 minutes, my assistant Pia would hit a gong or play a drum or make a sound, to let us know that that session with that person was finished. That person would get up and go back into the audience and I would begin a woodcut. Wood helps me feel vibrations of sounds - the texture really helps with conducting that movement, that vibration. And it relates to how I learned language with my mom.

It was really impactful to meet new people, to see new places, and to be part of this brand new life. It was very liberating and I found that very important. I was able to explore more about my Deaf identity. I was able to understand Deaf hearing, Deaf blind, blind folks even better. And that was really my introduction to where my art is now.

Arlene: Thank you. Kal, I would love to talk about the things that you worked on during your residency. And I'd love you to share any ahas or experiences that you had with us.

Kal: This residency gave me a chance to work on a series that ended up with, like, a combination of, like, long texts, drawings that all kind of, like, pieced together. And just being able to curate and make a space. And yeah, I think that's, that's also where the aha moment came from, where I, I remember it was like the final days of installing and I was at the MAD Culture Space, where I was late at night, and I was just looking across what I have put up.

And I was just looking at it and I was just, you know, in that space where it's a space that is created by me, but it is a space that is still foreign due to the fact that I, I forget almost everything that happens, like at varied select period of time. So those things that I had not seen that I'm like seeing again. So it was like a cumulation of a version of my time and me standing here as the present version of that self. So it was like, I know it was like a really rare feeling of like feeling present or like feeling connected. So I think, yeah, like Janhavi mentioned a lot about the residency being very like exploring new stuff and like, approaching new ways of communication. But I feel like I've done that in a invert way where it was very, like, intrinsic. But it was also a defining moment.

Arlene: What I love about what you just said was that the opportunity to do the residency actually pushed your work forward. In a way. And that's always such a gift to have time and space to do that. I'm going to move on to the next question, if I can, for both of you. I'd love to know what it is meant to you to be part of the Chicago disability arts community.

Janhavi: I'm now able to express myself and I'm becoming more comfortable with myself. The residency gave me an opportunity, for the first time in my life, to speak for myself. I went and did a presentation at UIC. Typically, I would ask an interpreter to speak for me, but that was a really interesting experience in that they asked me to speak, vocally, myself. And I was like, "Oh, wow, cool. This is a unique experience."

Classroom Workshop

You know the first time you do something like that, it's a really powerful experience. But it really helped me become aware of my identity. Who am I, inside? And who do I want to be? It's really an amazing thing when you find your voice, when you can communicate with your own language, your own ideas, that is so important.

Arlene: And I see that it makes you very emotional.

Janhavi: Yes, it's very emotional.

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Arlene: So, Kal, I'm going to move over to you. And you know, we talked about the residency program as it helps artists kind of situate themselves somewhere in the disability world. So how do you situate yourself, your work as it relates to form or content or just the creative process?

Kal: A lot of my work comes from my own experiences with my depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, like suspected bipolar or, and borderline. So there's a lot of dissociation and there's a lot of strong emotions that I feel that definitely influences on how I see the world and how I go about, like, interpersonal relationships. Those are the things that informs the basis of my work of like, okay, so like capturing like moments of like, okay so I just had this experience and now I'm feeling this, so what does this mean to me? Like, what have I seen this before. Like what, what can I use to represent this?

I try to detach myself as much as possible when I am in the process of making my artwork, so it's like, filtering the personal experiences of dealing with mental health and getting that into more like, broader audience, if that makes sense.

Arlene: And I think, you know, using mental health as a basis for your art is a really interesting thing because so much of it is an internal experience. And what you're doing is you are creating something from an internal experience and putting it externally out into the world.

Kal: Yeah, definitely. And I think a lot of it also has to do with trying to mellow it out, but also trying to keep its core as a object that is meant for my own dealings with my own experiences and feelings. For example, like, I could associate a feeling referring back to a very intense moment of, like, isolation and sadness and put that with a cat and like, you know, that's such a general, universal experience that, it's informed by my personal context, but it's also like it also has room to reach a broader context, yeah.

Arlene: And, you know, for both of you, isn't it exciting to be a part of an art movement that is new, and exciting, and thriving where people are pooling resources and brainpower so, you know, for me, being part of all of this is just very life affirming. All right, Kal, I'm going to go to the big question now. And that is, I would love to know what kinds of challenges that you faced in gaining access, or funding, or training within your arts field.

Kal: I think trying to find a audience that is, like, comfortable in discussing the work that I am making, which is again, like related to, like something that is very heavily stigmatized and has a negative connotation of like what people think of people with mental, mental health like disabilities. And it's, you know, it's definitely a invisible disability that people don't really expect when when some people like, see my work and they're like, oh, like it's, it's work that has like very like cute aesthetics and like, it's very minimal. Like can you speak more about, like what you were thinking while you're making it and then the conversation kind of dwindles if that makes sense, you know.

Arlene: Absolutely. Thank you. So I'm going to ask you, we talked a little bit about this, in your, in the previous question, but what kinds of challenges have you found, in getting access, or funding, or training within your arts field?

Janhavi: There are a lot of challenges, that's just a part of life. I grew up lipreading Hindi language and I didn't learn sign language with my family, friends, or teachers. When I moved to America, I learned a little bit of ASL gradually, but my friends are all hearing, so, it's hard to learn lip reading in English. Sometimes, Indian people will come up to me and communicate using Hindi and then English speaking people will write to me and then other people who sign will come up and sign at me. So there's a wide range of language and communication systems that I use. I feel like I'm code-switching all the time.

Arlene: Okay, so now I'm going to switch up the questions. Okay. I'd love you to ask Kal what you're curious about their work, their artwork.

Janhavi: Kal, if people don't understand your work, how do you feel?

Kal: I think I have evolved my work specifically for people to don't get it. In previous times of making art I tried to control every element that went into my planning of like, symbols or like, planning of like, things that I put in the composition so people will think the same things that I do but then I can't control the dialog that happens with my art so at some point, like it just became like a I'm just going to embrace the confusion that comes into my work by putting things that mean something to me and hopefully that, that artwork carries enough meaning or carries enough like significance of some sort that resonates to the audience. That they can get it in their own words per se.

Arlene: And, you know, so much of art is, is people experiencing it and taking, taking from it their own interpretation. And Kal, you know, this is true is art is not for everyone, nor should it be, right?

Kal: Yeah, definitely.

Arlene: So, Kal, do you have any questions for Janhavi?

Kal: I remember seeing one of your pieces with animation that the, it had like, the door, and you had mapped a projection, so it was showing an animation on top of the print work and I remember being, like, very blown away by it. So I was wondering, like, if you could, like, tell me more about, like, which elements of your artworks do you choose to animate or like what, like comes to your mind when you are choosing how to make the things that you want to?

Janhavi: Thank you, Kal, for going to see my work. I'm so happy about that. When I was learning animation, my teacher communicated with me using no language, just facial expressions, body language, and gestures. So learning from my teacher's movements really helped me think about how to compose my animation and how I could create a language of movement. It's made me pay more attention to small things like light and movement. Like when I'm sleeping and there's a small crack in the door and the light comes through it, there's like a pinhole of light. Now I look to animate the small things that present themselves to me.

Arlene: So, last question, my favorite question is, what are you dreaming about for your own art practice in the future? Or what do you think about or dream about for the disability arts community?

Janhavi: I want to stay comfortable in my world. I don't want to feel weird. I don't want to feel pressure. I don't want to feel insecure. I want to defeat my insecurities. I want the troublesome feeling to stop and I want to be able to enjoy my life and communicate comfortably. Before, when I would meet new people, I would feel so anxious and stressed. I want to try, from now on, to let go of that feeling from before. I want my art to show respect for all people and make my audience members feel comfortable as well. Accessibility is the world! And connecting with people, person to person, but also connecting with your art.

Because art helps me meet people. Because art helps me meet people. You know, I can go travel around the world but when I go out I'm texting people all the time to write down my thoughts, and it's stressful. If I don't have to text everything, that stress is reduced. So, if you need to communicate, be slow, be patient, that's the most important part. Thank you.

Arlene: Kal. This one is for you too. What are you doing about for your own practice? And you said you, that you are you still consider yourself an emerging artist, so what do you see for your own practice or for the disability arts movement?

Kal: I'm, in a very fresh spot for, like, making new work. My work is going to keep on being informed by my own disabilities and, it's important to me to be able to make, keep making things. So maybe in the future, you know, I can my work can like help break down certain stigmas that come with the discussion of work with mental health, or disabilities, or you know, just but also like, that's like Janhavi said, like being able to like, live my life and, you know, make, make work that feels true to me.

Arlene: I can't wait to see what comes next. Thank you so much for spending this afternoon with me.

Kal: Thanks so much, Arlene.

Janhavi: Yeah. Thank you both for your time. It was a great conversation.

Arlene: Thanks.